This time last year I was awaiting the arrival of my precious little Ainsley, anxiously waiting til I could officially call myself a Mother.
Now with Mother’s Day around the corner and finally having my daughter here earth side (not belly side…) I can reflect on this time I’ve had so far as a mother.
Being a Mother truly is the best thing to ever happen to me, hands down.
I know all Moms say that but really- it is.
Ainsley has changed my life in so many ways, and all for the better.
I truly believe I am my best self now that I am a Mom, I finally feel I have a purpose and I feel so much more confident in myself as a Mother.
Before Ainsley, I had so much self doubt and was extremely self conscious about every single thing about myself and my personality. Being a Mom really threw me a curve ball, because the minute I became a Mom was the minute I stopped thinking about myself first, and what people thought.
Now I’m a Mom I don’t give two shits what I look like to others, or how people see me. As long as in my daughters eyes I’m a great Mom that’s all that I care about. If Ainsley’s healthy and happy, I’m happy.
As much as I love it, being a Mom is hard, it’s not always smiles and hugs. There’s so many decisions you have to make for your child, and there’s no way of knowing what’s the best one, ultimately whatever you chose you just have to hope its what’s right for your bub.
Some days are great but some days are equally as terrible. When your child is grumpy, sick, clingy, and won’t give you a minute to sit, let alone eat. But even at the end of those hard, trying days, when you lay your little one to sleep you can’t help but look at the peacefulness on their little face and just think “God damn I love you, so much.”
I never understood love until I brought my daughter into this world. It truly is like no other love I’ve ever felt before. My thoughts and life revolves around what can I do to give her the best possible life? How can I raise her to be her best self? How can I show her how much I stinking love her? Before making any decisions I always think about Ainsley first, she’s my priority in life and being the best Mom is my main goal.
Now as a Mom myself I appreciate my own Mom so much more than ever before. I now understand only a small fraction of what she’s done for me, and I know as my journey through motherhood continues, my admiration for my mother (and all mammas out there) will grow so much more.
Happy Mother’s Day to my amazing Mamma and all the other amazing Mothers out there.
And to my sweet little girl. Thank you for making me a Mother, thank you for blessing my life, and for making me the happiest I’ve ever been.
Everything I do is for you Ainsley May, and I’d do it all again, for you.