If you’re a mom you know the act of Mom shaming all too well. If you aren’t a Mom you might be subject to doing this to Moms as well without even realising.
Mom shaming, defined (according to urban dictionary) as; “Criticizing or degrading a mother for her parenting choices because they differ from the choices the shamer would make.”
As a younger Mom I face a lot of Mom shame from older Moms. Not to get confused with advice, lots of moms offer very friendly advice on things I may not know about. And that is way different than mom shaming, advice is nice and sometimes desperately needed when I’ve tried all avenues on something.
Mom shaming comes on topics such as vaccinations, breastfeeding, diet choices, and many more but these are the hottest of topics that I’ve seen.
In no way do I think Mom shaming is ever acceptable because every kid is different, every family is different, and every situation is different. What works for one kid may not work for another and that’s what Moms need to realise. There is no wrong way to parent in my opinion, if it works for you, and your baby is happy and healthy then you’re doing great sweetie.
Now I shouldn’t have to point out the obvious but I will just for all those people out there who may wonder, but OBVIOUSLY child health and safety comes first. But if what your doing is working for your little one and they are healthy then it’s no other persons place to comment or judge you for doing so.
A prime example is the amount of people who judge me for letting Ainsley sleep with a blanket because it’s “dangerous.” She has slept with a blanket from day one and had no issues, she can’t sleep without one. She likes to feel safe and cozy yet hates swaddling. So if a blanket is what makes her happy and helps her sleep you best bet I’ll let her sleep with it. Whenever someone tells me about the dangers of things in the crib I just smile and nod and say “Yes I’m aware.” Because I am, I’m well researched in baby safety but it’s my decision to let her sleep with a blanket. If I truely thought it was a danger to Ainsley, I wouldn’t allow it.
Us Moms have enough stress and things to worry about in regards to raising our little people, the last thing we need is to feel shamed by other Moms. We as Moms need to create a safe and welcoming community that fosters acceptance for all types of Moms and offers support when it’s needed.
Its okay to have differing opinions on topics, that’s what makes us all unique. What’s not okay is to try to make someone feel bad about their decision or try to convince someone that your opinion is better. You may not agree with the decisions of all Moms and frankly, it’d be weird if you did! But that doesn’t mean you need to judge them or shame them, because like I previously stated, you don’t know their child or their situation. What you think is best may not be the case for their child.
Parenting is so unique and so different on a case to case basis. No two parents will have the same opinions and values, and we need to be more open and accepting of that.
As Moms our main priority is our children, we want what’s best for them, and at the end of the day we will always make our decisions accordingly.
All that being said , I am not claiming I know everything about parenting because that’s far from the truth, like I said I welcome friendly advice! Especially if I reach out for it. But generally if I need help, advice, or an opinion, trust me I’ll ask. If not just trust that I as a Mother am doing what’s best for my child. As young and new as I may be my to this momming game, my baby is my world; I do all I can to educate myself and make the best decisions possible for her. And I trust that other Moms do the same.
Moral of this post, don’t be one of those judgey mean Moms that no one likes. You don’t know what’s best for every kid in the world so give it a rest. You have no right to shame other Moms on how they parent. How about we all respect and value differing opinions and try to learn from them. Being a Mom is hard enough, let’s not make it any harder on ourselves and others by being a (excuse my language) dick.
Everybody love everybody!